Seven o’clock. Kids are running hurriedly as if there’s no tomorrow for it is flag ceremony. Day in and day out, that’s the scenario in elementary school. There are an awful lot of experiences that I’ve had during my stay in Nellie E. Brown. I am absolutely sure that nobody would wish to hear all the crap I’d done, neither do I. None of those make sense, not a whit! Why? Because you will just be fed up with stories full of ignominy and silliness. Of course, considering the fact that I was innocent and born with sort of idiosyncratic personality. That would probably serve as my excuse.
After six years, a wider gate opened, much more fascinating, thrilling and exciting period, a quantum leap over elementary. That is high school life. My four years under the ICT curriculum in Olongapo City National High School taught me a lot. It also intensified my obsession with computers that is now gradually dying and loosing its fervor. The great part is that I’ve met people who I know I can always count on.
Awakened from a deep slumber, here I am now. As I opened my eyes, glanced at the reflective glass, there was a lady standing with mint green blouse and gray pants. It was none other than me. It was all brought by serendipity. It’s so bizarre because my real passion is way too far with teaching. I’ve gone to myriad of uncertainties and questions that are left unanswered. Still, I am struggling in the depths of confusion which is such a pathetic act for it has been one and a half year of eternal thinking. It’s such a waste of my precious time for crying out loud! If you examine me, I am not qualified nor enthralled to be in the field of teaching. Bluntly but not proudly speaking, I am idle and irresponsible. And, I hate the idea of doing some sort of lesson plan. Stuffs like that make me sick. I’ve meant that and I do apologize for being straightforward, I’m just being me. So, why in the world am I here? What’s gotten into my thick head? I am afraid that my decision will lead to a desultory ending. I hope I am wrong. The root of all these is the choice I have made, therefore, I am reliable for it. There are several quotations engraved in my mind that I can hardly forget. One said,” We are solely responsible for our choices, and we have to accept the consequences of every deed, word and thought throughout our lifetime.” Another said, “We have one life and one chance to make it count for something. We are free to choose what the something is, and the something we’ve chosen is our faith.” Ponder that. I just let everything fall under his righteous hands, He who engineers my life, God. I know Thee has a purpose for everything.
I used to make fun of what I’m doing though it has something to deal with my future. My immaturity is to be blame. In hindsight, I’ve thought that being a teacher isn’t that boring, dull and the worst I could think of. Now I’m talking! But that’s how I felt. What I’ve learned during my stay here in Gordon College is not just Prof. Ed. lectures, Multiple Intelligence, Psychology, English101, 102, Math, Sociology etc. but also, far beyond, is to love such noble profession. Imagine, an absurd student like me who was anti-teaching would be an educator someday? Who knows?
The perfect gift I’ve ever had is my family. Family is all that matters to me. Being blessed by nice and caring parents and one younger brother, that’s it, no appropriate adjective could describe him, is what I consider really fortunate. Though sometimes, there are certain problems that are tough enough to handle by a seventeen year old girl like me, and those are the times I seek for companion, or rather, choose to be marooned. I barely take things seriously. Smiling would be the best thing to do than isolating your poor self in one corner. The world must go on and it will stop for nobody.
I was born to kick ass. Make my mom and dad proud and follow their will with my utmost ability. I want to do something remarkable that’ll make their happiness become infinite bliss. I want to prove something. They are the reason why I want to pursue more. As exchange for the love and kindness they have showered unto me and my younger brother, I will do everything no matter it cost my life. The assurance of this is just like believing of God’s existence. All these years, they have taught me to believe in God and have faith in Him. For that, I feel complete, but sometimes, you can’t get rid of being mortal and you’re craving for earthly desires. Being materialistic is natural to me. I was born to devour computers and gizmos. I find it pretty addictive though expensive, so, my world is in the realm of technology. But if you’re thinking that I only know how to operate computer and know Mr. Bill Gates, you are dead wrong, without the intent of bragging. I am also a language enthusiast. So far, my Hangeul and Nihongo aren’t that good but I’m working with it, including English. Plus, my love for art and photography are beyond compare. I got blinded by its great beauty and magnum opus. Thus, I am still a novice in this field because there are lots to learn. The more you know, the more the unknowns. And also, a music buff, ‘70’s, 80’s, 90’s, pop, rock, reggae, jazz, emo, punk, whatever category, you name it! And, I’m also a movie devotee. I also love explorations, travel and discoveries. If I would be given a chance to have a worldwide trip, why not? I wouldn’t pass up the great opportunity. Since birth, I am sanely fascinated with nature, peculiar places, mysteries in it and all that is alien. Well, mentioning all my interest would take ages to get finished so I will resist myself and shush. I do love getting busy with my life though it is a complete balderdash, so I can think of my problems and despair no more.
Life is so interesting yet ephemeral that’s why I’m making the most of it. “Dream as if you live forever; live as if you die today!” I’m not blowing out of proportion. I just wanted to emphasis what reality is. Moving on, it is hard to end this but I’ve got to. Everything that has been said here represents only merest something about me. There are things, lots of things, that no words can be used to express, that even I couldn’t no matter how hard I try, how engross I become. There are questions hanging that I need to burst out before I end this. Will my life end the way I expected it? Will I be able to achieve genuine fulfillment? Where is my final destination? Time will come, someday, I shall take my last breath and be buried six feet underneath and I hope, somehow, everything I’ve brought and sacrificed into this wicked world won’t be in vain.
